English is a Native Language!

English is not a universal language. To my colleague in Shanghai, it’s a native language. Confused?! Let me explain...

Marketing was roped in to help put together an article for client circulation. As usual, I edited the article and sent it to my boss for approval before emailing the vetted copy to my Director colleague in Shanghai (let's name her H) for final eye-over.

Guess what H came back with? Here’s her reply:

Many thanks for your input into the article. I’m fine with the content. We may need Jane’s help in polishing the language. I find some of my sentences a bit awkward from a linguistic point of view. I’d appreciate it if Jane could make it more ‘native’!

Native? Please define native English!!!
Anyway triple thumbs up to my boss who replied her very professionally.

Thank you for taking a look at the article. I read the draft last week and made some changes but I don’t recall noticing any clunkiness in the sentences – however given that you have particularly raised this I will re-read and make any amends as necessary. Thanks - Jane

Here's the unedit version written by H:


And the revised...

Does the revised article read awkward from a linguistic point of view?